MODULE 1B

Meeting a Remarkable Man

I was deeply focused on my studies in my fourth year as a medical student at the University College Hospital, Ibadan. Our courses were intense, demanding absolute commitment and discipline. At the time, I was casually dating someone, but it was not a serious relationship.

After weeks of rigorous study, I travelled to Lagos to visit my late brother, Dr. Felix Chuks Okoye, and his wife, Ijeoma. I was also eager to reconnect with my aunty, Mrs. Helen Usman–Hamman, with whom I had lost contact. Exhausted from studying, I desperately needed rest and a change of environment.

It was a calm, cool Saturday night in July 1976. My sister-in-law, Ijeoma Okoye, invited me to a party in Ikoyi, while my late brother-in-law, Mr. Charles Iyizoba, invited me to another party in Surulere—one for older guests and the other for university students.

I initially chose the Surulere party. As I left the house, Ijeoma handed me a piece of paper with the Ikoyi address and said, “Ify, take this address, just in case you change your mind.”

We attended the Surulere party with Genevieve Onyuike, whose father insisted she return home before midnight. The party was uninteresting, so we left around 11:15 pm to ensure she got home on time.

After dropping Genevieve off, I suggested we stop by the Ikoyi party—and we did. That decision marked the beginning of my relationship and eventual marriage to Lawrence Maduka Nwakwesi.

As I walked into the Ikoyi party, I became the centre of attraction. I was wearing jean trousers, a jacket, and a striped fuchsia pink and black shirt purchased earlier that day by my late brother-in-law, Charles. I was likely the youngest lady there.

I was pretty, with an innocent look that often intrigued people, coupled with a coy, playful confidence. My brother JC, who attended the party with his fiancée, the late Flossy (née Chiamaonwu), introduced Maduka to me.

The moment we were introduced, Maduka asked me to dance. We danced continuously—about six dances in a row, including blues. He held me with confidence and warmth, and for the first time, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

It felt as though we had known each other for years. Maduka had just returned from Canada. He was light-skinned, well dressed, with luxuriant hair, a silver bangle on his right wrist, and a black chain necklace—details I found endearing.

Although we spoke briefly, my brother-in-law Charles was uncomfortable with his closeness and insisted we leave. As we reached the gate, I rushed back, scribbled my Surulere address with my eye pencil, and handed it to Maduka.

He went straight to the point, expressing his desire for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I did not give him a definite answer that day, but I liked him enough to consider it seriously.

Soon, we began dating, and he visited me regularly in Ibadan. Maduka was the first of thirteen children born to Chief Bernard and Oliaku Roseline Nwakwesi of Azu Village, Ogbunike, Anambra State.

He was a brilliant scholar and public servant, with degrees from Queen’s University, McGill University, and prestigious institutions in Canada and the United Kingdom. His career spanned senior roles in Nigeria’s civil service, academia, and international advisory positions.

Our romance was intense and deeply fulfilling. We often asked each other, “Is the fire still burning?” Love—not money—was the foundation of our decision to marry.

On the 20th of August 1977, we were married at All Saints Church, Enugu, in a double wedding ceremony. I was still in medical school, and the journey that followed was demanding— pregnancy, studies, financial struggles, and emotional resilience.

Through determination, faith, and hard work, I transitioned from student to doctor, wife, mother, and entrepreneur. These experiences shaped my understanding of relationships, resilience, and shared responsibility.