MODULE 7A
Living Within Your Means
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want and to impress people they don’t like.
How well do you manage money in your marriage?
Spending money is not bad, but a life of shallow desires can harm your relationships and marriage. Many people end up feeling unhappy, stressed, and ungrateful when they focus too much on acquiring material things.
This nature often begins in childhood when parents give their children everything they want, leading them to believe that material possessions bring true happiness. In other cases, some grow up under extreme lack and see money as the ultimate goal.
As adults, such individuals may expect their partners to provide an extravagant lifestyle or sustain unhealthy spending habits. This creates strain, dissatisfaction, and emotional distance in marriage.
Reflecting on my upbringing, I remain grateful to my father, a successful businessman, who taught me frugality, discipline, and the value of hard work. He emphasised setting clear goals and pursuing them with consistency and determination.
The most precious gift parents can give their children is the understanding that true happiness does not depend on material wealth but on spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Core Values to Instil
- Inner contentment and peace
- Gratitude and humility
- Integrity, compassion, and empathy
- Honesty, transparency, and love
Unfortunately, society often celebrates wealth without questioning its source. Social media fuels the “get-rich-quick” mentality, pushing couples into lifestyles they cannot sustain, creating stress and marital instability.
The pressure to live beyond one’s means—expensive schools, luxury housing, constant comparison—often leads to anxiety, resentment, and broken communication within marriages.
What Is Living Beyond Your Means?
Living beyond your means occurs when you spend more than you earn to impress others. This creates financial stress, debt, secrecy, and emotional disconnection between partners.
Financial pressure can silence communication, erode trust, and prevent couples from supporting each other effectively.
Marriage Is a Journey of Growth
When values take precedence over material possessions, couples experience deeper connection, purpose, and fulfilment.
As Bishop David Oyedepo once shared about his early days, what his wife saw was not wealth, but purpose. Purpose builds a foundation that wealth alone cannot sustain.
Tribulations will arise, but love reveals its strength through commitment, sacrifice, and mutual support. This is the essence of lasting love.
Practical Steps for Financial Harmony
Happiness is not about having everything you want, but wanting what you already have. Gratitude shifts your focus from lack to abundance.
Couples should create budgets, align goals, and make decisions together. Financial unity strengthens marital unity.
Understanding budgeting, saving, investing, and debt management empowers couples to make wise financial decisions.
Real success is financial stability and emotional well-being, not public display. Set boundaries and stay true to your values.
Shared memories, quality time, and meaningful experiences build deeper bonds than material acquisitions.
Honest discussions about finances foster trust, teamwork, and shared responsibility.
In summary, what you focus on in marriage determines its outcome. Choose love, wisdom, and acceptance. As Proverbs 14:12 reminds us, not every path that seems right leads to life. Walk in purpose, unity, and God’s design for your marriage.
Dr Ifeyinwa Irene Nwakwesi