MODULE 1B

I was deeply focused on my studies in my fourth year as a medical student at the University College Hospital, Ibadan. Our courses were intense, demanding absolute commitment and discipline. At the time, I was casually dating someone, but it was not a serious relationship.

After weeks of rigorous study, I travelled to Lagos to visit my late brother, Dr. Felix Chuks Okoye, and his wife, Ijeoma. I was also eager to reconnect with my aunty, Mrs. Helen Usman–Hamman, with whom I had lost contact. Exhausted from studying, I desperately needed rest and a change of environment.

As I left the house for the Surulere party, Ijeoma handed me a piece of paper with the Ikoyi address and said, “Ify, take this address, just in case you change your mind.”

That simple gesture would later become a defining moment in my life. The Surulere party was uninteresting, and after dropping off a friend, I suggested we stop by the Ikoyi party. That decision marked the beginning of my relationship and eventual marriage to Lawrence Maduka Nwakwesi.

It felt as though we had known each other for years. Maduka had just returned from Canada. He was light-skinned, well dressed, with luxuriant hair and a silver bangle on his right wrist—details I found endearing.

When it was time to leave, I rushed back, scribbled my Surulere address with my eye pencil, and handed it to Maduka. He promised to visit at 11:00 am the next day—and he arrived exactly on time.

He went straight to the point, expressing his desire for a serious relationship leading to marriage. Soon, we began dating. Maduka was a brilliant scholar and public servant, the first of thirteen children, with a career spanning senior roles in Nigeria’s civil service and academia.

On the 20th of August 1977, we were married at All Saints Church, Enugu. I was still in medical school, and the journey that followed was demanding—pregnancy, studies, financial struggles, and emotional resilience.

Through determination, faith, and hard work, I transitioned from student to doctor, wife, mother, and entrepreneur. These experiences shaped my understanding of relationships and resilience.

I share this story to reveal the real struggles behind relationships and marriages. As you continue this training, pay close attention as I uncover the root causes of marital challenges.