A TRIBUTE IN HONOUR OF HER BEAUTIFUL INSIDE-OUT MOTHER, DAME MONICA FGN OKOYE (OCHIORA), BY HER BEAUTIFUL INSIDE-OUT DAUGHTER, JUSTICE CHINWE IYIZOBA (NÉE FGN OKOYE), JUSTICE OF THE COURT OF APPEAL (RTD), ADADIORANMA
“Most friends and associates who knew our mother, Dame Monica Chiebonam FGN Okoye (Ochiora), saw her as an exceptionally beautiful and elegant woman of great poise and grace.
There is no doubt about the authenticity of that perception. She was indeed exceptionally beautiful. I agree with those who say that the day God created her, He concentrated fully on her without any distractions whatsoever.
However, what many people did not know was that our mother’s inner beauty, intelligence, empathy, and deep understanding of human nature and life far outweighed her physical appearance.
Our mother prepared herself fully for death and put her affairs in order in 2007 at the age of 82, fifteen years before her passing on 15th November 2022.
I remember one evening in 2008 when she called me urgently, saying she had something important to discuss.
When I arrived, she showed me a particular photograph of herself and Papa and requested that, upon her death, I should ensure that the picture was placed in her obituary brochure.
I was left wondering how a woman of her time could be so spiritually attuned and so completely at peace with the thought of death.
Many of us find such conversations uncomfortable. Some even believe that putting one’s affairs in order invites untimely death.
But my mother’s attitude underscored her deep spirituality, her total belief in God, and her understanding that this world is not our permanent home. We are merely passing through, and she did not want to be caught unprepared.
Our mother got married at the age of 15 to our legandry father late sir FGN Okoye popurlarly known as (Federal government of Nigeria) -“A man of impeccable character. They were a role model couple and brought us up with Christian and principle- centred values for successful lives
She had limited formal education, elementary schooling and domestic training, yet she possessed the intellect of a university professor.
Our parents were blessed with many children. Initially, they had four boys before any female child. Their two surviving sons are chief JC Okoye and Eng chris Okoye . We are 6 surviving women , Ngozi Asiegbu, myself, Dr Ifeyinwa Nwakwesi, the phenomenal woman, Dame princess Karenate Egbuson, lady uche Obi and our last sister Barr Joy Ebeledike.
Her eldest son Dr Felix Chuks Okoye, Esq., a successful and upwardly mobile young man, married to Barr mrs Ijeoma Okoye nee UCD Okoye died in his prime.
During that painful period, I witnessed with admiration the strength our mother possessed by Gods grace .. It would have been natural for an average woman, overwhelmed with grief, to break down visibly.
But our mother was different. Though her pain ran deep, she carried herself with dignity, control, and poise. Each time I looked at her, I would wipe my tears and try to emulate her composure.
She was a pillar of strength for all of us during those dark days, a rare gift for a woman of her class and standing.
Our mother was present for each of her nine children. Whenever any of us had a problem, she set aside her own concerns and stood by that child like a colossus, offering comfort and support until the issue was resolved.
She was not only a mother to her biological children but to many others.
Her daughters-in-law, Barr mrs Ijeoma okoye nee UCD Okoye Late Florence Okoye nee Chiamonwu and Prof mrs Ifeoma Okoye were treated exactly like her daughters.
After our father’s passing in 2003, Mama became everything to all of us. We loved her just as deeply as she loved us.
Every significant event in her life, Mothering Sunday, birthdays, brought us together from far and near. It gave her great joy to see as many of us as possible at Christ Church, Uwani, on Mothering Sundays, presenting envelopes in support of the church in her honour. It became an annual ritual. She was also committed to impact in the lives of women especially in Emmanuel Anglican church Enugwu-Ukwu . She was also the president of a female organisation MALUCHEDI- Know the heart and wishes of your husband, teaching women how to be impactful wives and mothers.
It is difficult to imagine life in Enugu without Mum. There are many adjustments to make.
The Sunday visits to Isuochi street uwani – Enugu by myself and other family members have now ended.
What do I do with myself on Sunday afternoons?
Our mother was blessed with 36 grandchildren, saw 48 great-grandchildren, and witnessed the weddings of most of her grandchildren.
Mum, we shall miss you so very much. Continue to rest in peace until the resurrection day, when we shall meet again to part no more.”
Your Second Daughter,
Justice Chinwe Iyizoba
Justice of the Court of Appeal (RTD)
(Adadioranma)
What’s your take
Adadioranma understood that life is all vanity
A good name is better than money
Lets live with kindness compassion and empathy to build better families , citezenship and leadership so Nigeria can become the giant of Africa
Shared by
Dr Ifeyinwa Nwakwesi MBBS
Growth Mindset And Integrative Lifestyle Specialist
Her phenomenal sister